I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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