her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize