whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
