I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
