Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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