Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
where are my eyebrows?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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