What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
