she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
