shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
