I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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