just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize