I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
