nut hugger
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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