Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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