lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
