just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
