he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
