Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
