I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
