I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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