I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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