My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
