so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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