My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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