You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
