now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
