That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
