I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
