I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
