so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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