Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
