yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
