Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
