Where are you?
In a non slutty way
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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