What a fucking waste of an outfit
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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