so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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