he puts the penis in happiness.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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