So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
