I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
