I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
