Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
never play flip cup with pint glasses
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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