I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
