I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
