Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize