In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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