i think my tv is drunk
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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