That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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