well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
