I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
