I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
