This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I didn't notice because vodka
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
