There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
