: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
