There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
