her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
