Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
no, he came in my armpit
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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