I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
