Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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