he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
love makes seman taste better
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
