She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
