I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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