I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I AM VODKA MAN
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
