eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize